And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
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I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
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I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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