you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize