Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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