i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
