Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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