I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
