I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
