my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
