I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I think people are normalizing furries
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
