bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.