wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
