Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
two words...techno handjob
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
