I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
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You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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