You work out of a Hotel?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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