everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
