so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Randomize
