you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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