zippers are such a cool invention
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
