So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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