Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Did I show you my penis last night?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just invented taco cereal.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
did you just send me my own nude
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
