It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
