i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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