What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Randomize
