How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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