she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We left an ass print on the piano.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
