GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
