I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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