But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
