so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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