she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
