sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
