If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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