Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Please don't give away my fajitas
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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