Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize