yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
