You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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