Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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