Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
