I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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