please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
