Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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