She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
