ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
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She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
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I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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