i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
