my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Randomize
