God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
