Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
