Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
