no, he came in my armpit
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
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He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
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Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.