Texts From Last Night

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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.

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  (334): Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies. http://tfl.nu/fldh
  Replies (50) Good night (2978) Bad night (1022)
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  (925): View more from California

  He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball

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  (925): He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball http://tfl.nu/qmmn
  Replies (43) Good night (808) Bad night (4807)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.

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  (971): He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex. http://tfl.nu/3zjj
  Replies (21) Good night (1875) Bad night (6532)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.

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  (443): Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan. http://tfl.nu/9jkn
  Replies (24) Good night (703) Bad night (5020)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.

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  (214): Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer. http://tfl.nu/r45y
  Replies (10) Good night (6278) Bad night (874)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.

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  (917): It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all. http://tfl.nu/vnnk
  Replies (11) Good night (3140) Bad night (1474)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on

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  (503): Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on http://tfl.nu/atvv
  Replies (12) Good night (928) Bad night (4163)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.

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  (978): I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine. http://tfl.nu/o5fg
  Replies (15) Good night (2781) Bad night (1289)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night

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  (815): I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night http://tfl.nu/p9mu
  Replies (5) Good night (1173) Bad night (2444)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.

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  (512): I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured. http://tfl.nu/n2gu
  Replies (6) Good night (2368) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (541): View more from Oregon

  You would be my first round pick for a drinking team

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  (541): You would be my first round pick for a drinking team http://tfl.nu/sq48
  Replies (6) Good night (1590) Bad night (536)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.

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  (979): Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log. http://tfl.nu/tdyo
  Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (893)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.

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  (406): The golf course isn't that incognito for sex. http://tfl.nu/qp54
  Replies (5) Good night (483) Bad night (319)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers

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  (412): I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers http://tfl.nu/enl0
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (333)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long

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  (601): Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long http://tfl.nu/yjw4
  Replies (6) Good night (509) Bad night (330)

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