Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore

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  (703): i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore http://tfl.nu/70pj
  Replies (32) Good night (2988) Bad night (850)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack

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  (918): I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack http://tfl.nu/o54t
  Replies (29) Good night (7048) Bad night (991)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.

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  (315): Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library. http://tfl.nu/bcrx
  Replies (16) Good night (4418) Bad night (722)
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  (619): View more from California

  woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.

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  (619): woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word. http://tfl.nu/lmgd
  Replies (20) Good night (5795) Bad night (1240)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?

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  (703): Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again? http://tfl.nu/bgom
  Replies (8) Good night (998) Bad night (3445)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas

  (810): View more from Michigan

  I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"

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  (734): we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas (810): I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick" http://tfl.nu/jn94
  Replies (9) Good night (3752) Bad night (1506)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.

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  (248): He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history. http://tfl.nu/5nwi
  Replies (4) Good night (2660) Bad night (820)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn

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  (303): its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn http://tfl.nu/fhqp
  Replies (12) Good night (2816) Bad night (1246)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.

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  (952): Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead. http://tfl.nu/k34x
  Replies (6) Good night (536) Bad night (1765)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.

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  (205): Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight. http://tfl.nu/1hhy
  Replies (11) Good night (2686) Bad night (550)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.

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  (206): The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter. http://tfl.nu/rlxt
  Replies (5) Good night (889) Bad night (301)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.

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  (307): I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck. http://tfl.nu/p4ld
  Replies (3) Good night (248) Bad night (676)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.

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  (417): Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess. http://tfl.nu/qhcv
  Replies (6) Good night (519) Bad night (274)
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  (845): View more from New York

  You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..

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  (845): You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship.. http://tfl.nu/vijk
  Replies (1) Good night (341) Bad night (194)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore

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  (386): I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore http://tfl.nu/saed
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (96)

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