Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
