dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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