Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
