All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
