I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
