Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
