yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
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