the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
