i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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