Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
