you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
