dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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