Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Still dying that you shit outside
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
